The story of Ethiopian father & Eritrean mother: a family reunion after 20 years

[Anonymous]

The story of Ethiopian father and Eritrean mother: a family reunion after 20 years

[The following story was posted by an Ethiopian, named “Esayas Nigatu” on his Facebook personal account. It is a heart-warming, worth-reading story about a story of a family of an Ethiopian father and an Eritrean mother and their children – a family which was split into two because of the meaningless, worthless Ethio-Eritrean conflict. I haven’t edit it anything – not even a single punctuation or typo error – so as to show a full credit to the writer.]

** Thank you very much for those who helped me in reuniting a family after 20 years

Ato Dagnew is a veteran who served his country (Ethiopia) in the military at various positions and locations in Ethiopia, with most of his services being in Eritrea where he met his former Eritrean wife, Hiwot Tikabo, 28 years ago. She had fallen in love with him and after a year of togetherness in Asmara, the then GoE collapsed and Eritrea became a sovereign country. Then, Ato Dagnew had to spend some six months in prison in Asmara. Hiwot, was able to visit him once while he was in a prison. Her visit had surprised and hinted him that it was a true love that never changed with the radically changing situation by then. When she went to the prison for the second time, she learnt his deportation to Ethiopia months ago. Then she immediately decided to follow him, and she started her journey to Ethiopia together with the other Ethiopians who were being deported from Eritrea. When she came to Addis Ababa, she only had hope and too much love in her heart, but no any other information about him, other than his full name and a couple of photos. Staying in Janmeda refugee camp in Addis, she had been looking for him for a couple of month, asking anyone who met across, but no one was able to give her any information.

Following his deportation, Ato Dagnew stayed between Addis Ababa and Bale Goba (Oromiya, Ethiopia) for six months with his extended family. Ato Dagnew had a little brother, who was also a military officer in Asmara, but was not back home after the end of the war. So, his family was concerened very much and wanted to know whether he was alive or not. So, the pressure from the family forced Ato Dagnew to go back to Addis and Mekele and look for his brother.

After six months, Ato Dagnew came back to Addis Ababa to look for his little brother. One of the potential areas where he could find some information about his brother or any one from Eritrea, was the refugee camps in Addis Ababa, where the Ethiopians displaced from Eritrea were living, of which Janmeda was one.

Going to Janmeda refugee camp, it did not take him long to learn that his brother was alive, and he is living with his Eritrean wife in a place called Adigrat in Ethiopia. That was a big relief to Ato Dagnew and his family. But, before Ato Dagnew left the Janmeda camp, he met an old friend, who told him as one lady was looking for him badly. Ato Dagnew was very curious on the issue and asked who and where she was. The guy took him to the place where she used to stay in the camp. The lady was Hiwot Tikabo, his lover, who came all the way from Asmara to Addis Ababa, with the only purpose of looking her love, Ato Dagnew. She could not believe that the person that she loved so much and was looking for was just standing in front of her in her place. After a couple of hours love exchange, she told him upfront that she loved him too much and wanted to marry him.

They were married and started to live together in Addis Ababa. Ato Dagnew had been working as a security guard in the ministry of water and energy, while Hiwot was a waiter in Wabeshebele hotel in Addis Ababa. They had three kids (two daughters (Zemen and Misgana) and one son (Yigzaw) and used to live a fairly happy life.

However, following the war between Eritrea and Ethiopia, the tension between the two countries was escalating and as a first measure, some Eritrean were banned from working in public sectors, of whom Hiwot was one and was fired from Wabeshebele hotel for merely being an Eritrean. But life continues with the income from Ato Dagnew’s job. But, as the situation continued to worsen, Hiwot was identified for deportation and was told on the date to be deported. Then in consultation with her husband, she decided to take the kids with her to Asmara. So, the family had to broke in between two countries. Hiwot with her kids (Zemen 8, Misgana 6 and Yigzaw 5 years old) were deported to Asmara, Eritrea.

What a cruel politics and politicians. We all can imagine how bitter that could be to separate from your wife and kids for a reason that is beyond your control.

Anyway, although the new life continued for the two segments of the same family, the one in Asmara was a bit tough. They had exchanged letters for two years, and in every letter exchange, Ato Dagnew was learning how life was so difficult for his family in Asmara. After two years, all the communication means between Eritrea and Ethiopia were completely shut down. From, then the family did not hear anything about each other for 18 years, and they don’t even know whether they were alive or not.

Meanwhile, after five years of separation, Ato Dagnew almost gave up and he was in a dilemma to start a new life. Finally, he decided to do so and started a new relationship with a woman. But he told all the stories about his family and asked her if she still wanted to marry him, knowing that he is still married in his heart and had a big family. She agreed, and they married. He has now a 15 years old daughter. Another family.

After twenty years, unexpectedly, unimaginable phenomena happened in Ethiopia, i.e. the election of new and different mentality PM Dr Abiy, which had an immediate impact on the relationship between Ethiopia and Eritrea. A single decision and initiative with a real action on the ground has changed the two decades ugly and dirty story of the two nations, with a new spirit of reconciliation and normalization process. Consequently, the boarder between Eritrea and Ethiopia opened, allowing the unification of separated families over two decades. I wish this happens between North and South Koreas.

It was then, that I decided to visit my birth place, Asmara. Though my plan was to be on the first flight, that could not happen for some reasons, and I was able to fly to Asmara on July 27th, 2018 for one-week visit.

In one of our visit days, after a long walk in Asmara University and the surrounding areas, we wanted to drink water and went in to a small bar, “Bar Tiblets”. The small bar has three tables with one customer in each and we decided to join a table with a gentle man, who quickly knew that we were from Ethiopia. (of course, because of the Amharic). He was so happy to talk to us and arranged the seats for us. We were then approached by the waiter, Misgana Dagnew, who took our orders and get back quickly to join us and wanted to ensure that we were from Ethiopia. We confirmed for her that we came from Addis Ababa. Then, she came by myside and asked (in Tigrigna) for a favor, i.e. “To look for her father in Addis Ababa”, that she had never heard about him for the last 18 years, since she was deported from Asmara at the age of six. I promise to do all my best and took some information. But the only relevant information she was able to give were; the full name of her father and his former work place, i.e. the ministry of water and energy. Later, she added that her mother Hiwot Tikabo used to work in Wabeshebel Hotel. Finally, she also told me that, she heard from her mother that there was one person called Birhanu Regassa who was a close friend of her father who used to work in Genet Hotel, who may know the whereabouts of her father.

She sadly told me that she lost her mother (Hiwot Tikabo) and her elder sister (Zemen Dagnew) four years ago and added that her father may not know this fact. She cried, and told me how much she missed her mother, her sister and her father as well. She told me how life has been so difficult for her and the family in the last two decades.

Then up on my return to Addis, I went to the ministry of water ad energy and asked about Ato Dagnew, but no one knows him. Then I went to Genet Hotel, to look for the person called Ato Birhanu Regassa, but was in vain. My final resort, was to go to Wabeshebel hotel and ask if there is anyone who knows the mother (Hiwot). At the beginning it was hopeless as I was asking for a person who used to work there before 20 years, but on the next day, I found a lady who remembers Hiwot very well, and informed me that “she was deported to Eritrea 20 years ago”. But I told her that I came from Asmara and I even know that she passed away four years ago. Then, the lady said, “then what do you want if you know that she does not exist”? I said, I met her daughter in Asmara and I am looking for her former husband called Ato Dagnew Setargie to connect him with his daughter. She felt sad and told me that she had no idea about him but promised to look for some retired people who may have some information.

I went back to the Hotel manager and told the story. He also promised to follow up on the issue and inform me on any updates. After two days, I received a call in early morning, and it was the Wabeshebele hotel manager. He told me as he found someone with a hint about Ato Dagnew. He gave me a number for that person. I called the number and talked to some one. I must tell the whole story to convince him before he shares with me the information about Ato Dagnew. Finally, he told me that he had not heard anything from him for the last two years and not sure if still uses the same cellphone number and gave me a number to try.

I called the number immediately, and fortunate enough, I was in deed talking to the person I was looking for. “Hello,,,, hello,,,, Am I talking to Ato Dagnew?. Yes, this is Dagnew, who is that? Sorry…you don’t know me, but my name is …,,, “so what do you want”? …… eeeee I am just coming from Asmara and ………eeeee. Suddenly, I heard him saying .. please tell me….. are they all alive?…… yesssss they are alive.. (that was a bit hard for me, as I was lying, because it is now only Misgana and Yigzaw who are alive, while his wife Hiwot and elder daughter Zemen are in the other world (RIP). Then, after taking a breath, I told him that I have met his doughter, Misgana, but not the others, as they used to live a bit far from where she was. Then I gave him Misgana’ s number and asked him to call her. Meanwhile, I called Asmara and told Misgana that I found her father. What a difficult conversation, she could not believe me, and she was not able to talk to me properly, she cried and cried, and we must interrupt the call. I called her again and asked her to calm down and wait for his call.

I called again and talked to her, and I learnt that she received a call and she was able to hear her father’s sound after 20 years. Unfortunately, there was another big problem. Language. She does not know Amharic and he does not know Tigrigna. They both know only simple greetings. Then I had another job. Translation of phone conversation. One of the most difficult question that I hate but was coming across now and then was, his repeated question on the where about of the other family, members. In the middle of the conversation,,,,,,, he said…. can you please ask her to connect me with her mother and the other siblings………? I translate this to her….. and she told me to not inform him at this time……. So, in translation I have to tell him a total lie……..” She said, they are living in the other side of the city and they meet once in a month…….. “ok but can you ask her to give me their numbers so that I can call them” ………. I translated what he said…… she started to cry.., but fortunate enough he was not hearing her, as the phone was with me. She said, “please tell him some reason………So, it was time for me to lie and I said, “she is going for the new year holiday to them and she will call you from there and you will be able to talk to all”. …… he said “ok ok. but are they all ok for their health” …… what a painful conversation I had in my life…….

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Ato Dagnew’s family (the Ethiopian father) at Bole International Airport (PHOTO: Esayas Nigatu)[/caption]

The next Sunday, I met Ato Dagnew physically for the first time and had to spend more than three hours listening to hid amazing stories about his military life in Eritrea, how he met with Hiwot, their brief family life, what life looked like after the separation of the family, his new family life……. He is now a retired veteran who is working as security guard in Ethio-telecom.

Now, once the family reunited at least through phone, the next step is to bring them physically together. So, I asked him what he thinks. He said, “I wish to see them as soon as possible, and my wife and my daughter are also eager to see them and are asking me to bring the children as soon as possible…… but I don’t think this will happen soon, mainly as I cannot afford the air ticket for all of them at a time. So, he wanted to think over and also hoped that the road transport might open shortly.

Understanding that neither Ato Dagnew nor Misgana and her brother in Asmara cannot afford the cost for transportation, I asked myself as to what I can do for this to happen. At the same time, I also thought about my good friends who can help me in this regard.
Thank you very much for my generous collegues, I was able to raise nearly ETB 30,400 ($800 and ETB 8000). As a result, I was able to buy air tickets for both Misgana and Yigzaw for them to come from Asmara to Addis Ababa to see their father. So, yestrady September 26 2018, myself a couple of other colleagues, representing the 13 very kind and generous colleagues, together with Ato Dagnew and his family have received Misgana and Yigzaw at Bole International Airport and we were able to see the “very deep feeling/ emotion” that I really can’t explain to you, by the time the family reunited after 20 years. Ato Dagnew with his wife and their Daughter and Misgana and her brother Yigzaw are now one big family. They have no words to thank you all for what you did for them.

Thanks again and here are a couple of pictures in the airport. GOD BLESS YOU ALL

END: The story of Ethiopian father and Eritrean mother: a family reunion after 20 years

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